In Case Anyone Cares About the Pro Bowl

In the depths of winter in late January of every year, 100 or so of the best football players in the world get to leave their miserable cold hometowns and go half-ass a poor excuse for a football game at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii. No one watches the game, but almost every football fan in America votes for who “plays” in it. It is after all the NFL All-Star game. So let’s see who from your favorite teams offenses may make it to Hawaii at this point in the season:


AFC: Peyton Manning absolutely should get voted to Hawaii this year, hell he should be MVP with the way the Colts are playing without him, but that will not happen. With Peyton out though that does add an extra spot that has not been up for the taking for the past 10 years. Tom Brady is a lock as he is on pace to break Dan Marino’s regular season passing record. That leaves the other two spots to go to either Big Ben, Matt Schaub, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and even Matt Hasselback. Ben Roethlisberger should ultimately lead the black and yellow back into the mix and make it a very interesting division come seasons end. With someone else finally in front of that division that isn’t that a-hole and the dude with the super model leash, this Harvard boy will enjoy some seldomly experienced warm weather.

NFC: Especially at this point in the season Aaron Rodgers is a lock with his stellar passing stats and stellar team. And Drew Brees just tied Brett Favre for 36 consecutive games with at least one touchdown toss. But who takes that coveted third spot? “Elite” Eli? That guy who throws the ball to Megatron (Matt Stafford)? The stunner Alex Smith?Or maybe even rookie sensation Cam Newton? As of right now, I am giving Stafford the spot, good quarterbacks take advantage of their great receivers and no one is doing that better than him. Although if we see Cam improve at the rate he is, he could make a run. A rookie in the Pro Bowl?!

Running Backs

AFC: Fred Jackson, Arian Foster, and MJD. Running Backs are pretty straight foreward. High average yards per attempt, lots of touchdowns, few fumbles. Jones-Drew was a bit of a stretch, but I firmly believe that the Jaguars will soon see that the only way they will win is by very consistently giving this guy the ball. Barring injuries, these three men will have Pro Bowl worthy seasons.

NFC: LeSean “Shifty-Shady” McCoy has been lighting it up all season, as has Adrian Peterson. That leaves the last spot to Frank Gore or Matt Forte, both are extremely valuable to their respective teams, but what Forte brings with him receiving out of the backfield… is usually the ball. If we don’t see anymore Forte fumble follies like Monday against Philadelphia, then we will see him get laid (with some flowers).

Wide Receivers

AFC: Wes Welker has got his fourth straight Pro Bowl selection in the bag and boarded on his plane to Hawaii. At his stellar 4.33-40 yd pace, Mike Wallace will get his second ever selection. Vincent Jackson, even with his mere 50% catch when targeted rate, may just get selected for being tied for most receiving TDs in the AFC. Then Anquan Boldin and Brandon Marshall will be duking it out for that fourth spot, with rookie A.J. Green possibly coming in for the sneak attack.

NFC: Well my hometown hero Steve “Smitty” Smith is a lock, this year has reenergized this man’s career. This has been his best start since 2005 when at this point after 8 games he had 55 receptions for 903 yards and 9 TDs, this season he has 46 receptions for 918 yards and 4 TDs. Calvin “Megatron” Johnson will also be wearing a white and royal blue jersey in January, this monster could potentially be on pace to challenge Randy Moss’s single season receiving TD record of 23. Greg Jennings and Larry Fitzgerald are both more than skill-worthy, their problems are their quarterbacks though, Aaron Rodgers spreads the ball out and Kevin Kolb couldn’t spread shmear on a bagel. I guarantee at least one of the two if not both will make it though, Jeremy Maclin has also had a great year praying that his quarterback stays healthy.

Tight Ends

AFC: Gronk (Rob Gronkowski) has been banging people around left and right, on and off the field. I’m looking at you Bibi Jones, magical lady parts always getting us athletes in trouble. Also Heath Miller and Owen Daniels have served as great safety blankets for their respective quarterbacks. The tight end position is so underrated I think, such skill they must possess, not only skill though but size. The tight end club is a very exclusive one, full of many very frightening men.

NFC: Of all the former University of Miami tight ends playing right now, Jimmy Graham is the most explosive catching the ball, I am not sure about his blocking abilities, but that man sure is talented. Speaking of former University of Miami tight ends, it was Carolina Panthers own Jeremy Shockey that taught young Jimmy the ropes, hopefully he will do the same with Greg Olsen, who I do not believe will make it to the Pro Bowl this year unless there is a quick change of pace after the Panthers bye. Now someone like Fred Davis or Jasson Witten, I could see them playing in Honolulu this winter.


QB-Tom Brady NE

QB-Ben Roethlisberger PIT

QB-Ryan Fitzpatrick BUF

RB-Arian Foster HOU

RB-Fred Jackson BUF

RB-Maurice Jones-Drew JAC

WR-Wes Welker NE

WR-Mike Wallace PIT

WR-Anquan Boldin BAL

WR-Vincent Jackson SD

TE-Rob Gronkowski NE

TE-Heath Miller PIT


QB-Aaron Rodgers GB

QB-Drew Brees NO

QB-Matthew Stafford DET

RB-Lesean Mccoy PHI

RB-Frank Gore SF

RB-Adrian Peterson MIN

WR-Steve Smith CAR

WR-Calvin Johnson DET

WR-Greg Jennings GB

WR-Lary Fitzgerald ARI

TE-Jimmy Graham NO

TE-Fred Davis WSH

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3 Responses to In Case Anyone Cares About the Pro Bowl

  1. Joseph says:

    A solid job on the choices overall, but it is impossible to leave Cam Newton off of this list. He is the most explosive running QB since the young Mike Vick, he has a rocket arm, and has single handedly resurrected Steve Smiths career. He is also the second most talked about player in the league (behind god’s son Tim Tebow) and since the game is all about popularity there is no way Cam should be left off the list. Not to mention he has been pretty solid playing on a team without a single defensive player the average fan can name.

  2. garretmann says:

    It was a tough choice to leave him off, and I may be biting my tongue very soon.
    The Panthers are 2-0 when Cam doesn’t throw a pick and 0-6 when he does, especially when he throws 3 in a game, twice. Now his accuracy has been impeccable at around 60%, but until he can keep the ball out of the other teams hands, he shouldn’t be considered an elite QB

  3. Stevey J says:

    Anquan Boldin better not make the pro-bowl, he’s not even the best receiver on his team.

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